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Constitution Design 101, a learn-as-I-go effort. | by kelli217 | 2005-03-29 12:12:46 |
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Part 1: The Preamble | by kelli217 | 2005-03-29 12:18:14 |
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ideas | by MatthewDBA | 2005-03-29 13:04:57 |
| responses |
by kelli217 |
2005-03-29 15:00:39 |
1. Yes, it's redundant. Intentionally so. I would have included the word "obvious" as well, but I thought two synonyms was enough to drive home the point.
2. I'm trying to be clear while also trying to be specific. That lends itself to wordiness, but in a few situations it's possible to be brief. "Rights of the people" is to be a term that comes up again in the document, and I thought it a good idea to establish what that means.
3. Point taken, more or less. The first sentence of the two you mention can probably do without the comma splice. Thus, "To that end, it is our intention to create a document where the people are assumed to be the ultimate authority. For the sake of justice, the government must only derive its powers from the informed and willing consent of those it is intended to govern." It's harder to say what I would do with the second sentence. Perhaps, as you say, it should be moved to the second paragraph. And to break it up, I might say, "When the government strays from this ideal too far or for too long, it is not only the right, but the duty of the people to remove it, change it, or eliminate it. In doing this, it should be replaced with a government more suited to the task of safeguarding rights and only that purpose."
4. That's part of the point. The preamble is a statement of purpose, but not a plan in itself.
5. I might be better off saying, "Establishing a fair and equitable code and system of justice regarding infringements of the rights of the people." Note the use of "regarding," because the issue of prevention is moot after the fact, which is the only time a justice system can intervene, unless we have a Pre-Crime department as in "Minority Report." The point is to make sure that infringements are dealt with under the rule of law.
6. This goes back to being a statement of purpose rather than a plan in itself.
7. Inasmuch as working together and living together are two separate things, they deserve separate bullet points. In the "stronger bonds," my idea is to encourage working together toward common goals rather than division along ideologies. In "understanding, acceptance, and tolerance," my idea is to encourage dealing with differences constructively instead of resorting to xenophobia.
In all, I want the preamble to be less an executive summary and more a statement of purpose and evocation of the guiding principles that influence the document. One of the larger problems we have today is that through insufficient elaboration and vague language, there is a lot of argument over "the framers' intent." It's my intention in this preamble to clearly state the reasons for the documents existence and the principles that should guide future interpretations of the document. |
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[ Reply ] |
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counter-responses | by MatthewDBA | 2005-03-29 19:24:01 |
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I'm going to leave it for now, and move on... | by kelli217 | 2005-03-30 06:52:19 |
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