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Back to UF - User Diary Index
| Small lessons matter |
by wabbit65 |
2008-06-23 13:01:43 |
The quote at the top of this Diary is taken from a small sign on the wall in a corner of the dojo where I have been training for the last five years. You really have to look for it because it doesn't stand out in any way. Six months ago I made my first attempt at testing for my black belt. I went in feeling fine mentally and physically. I never believed that the test was a formality, but I was confident in my abiltiy to pass. In all the time I was there I could not recall anyone not passing who had made it that far. I knew there were evaluations done prior to the test, and that a number of students had been advised to wait for the next testing cycle. So I began the test, and quickly realized that something was wrong. I was soon out of breath, and my heart was racing. I had picked up a chest cold a few days before, and the stress of the test was more than I could handle. In the midst of this I still felt alert, and believed that I could somehow still "gut it out" and pass the test. The instructors, however, saw things differently. I asked if there was any chance left that I could pass, and was told that even if I was perfect for the remainder of the test my chances of passing were very slim.
Swallowing my pride, I bowed off the floor and watched the rest of my classmates continue with their tests. This was a crushing moment. I honestly questioned whether or not I could stand to wait 6 months for the next test. Could I deal with being knocked off my pace, and spending the next 25 weeks in endless review. And could I deal with the spectre of this "failure" when it came time to test again. Was it just a cold, or was this bar set too high for me to ever cross it? And there was also the hardest question of all, could I just walk away? Could I just say after nearly 5 years of work "Who really cares about this, what will it change of I stay or go, does this really matter?".
After a few days of feeling like crap, I had my answer. I went back, and resumed my training. I hired a personally trainer to improve my endurance and strength. I passed the test on my second attempt. I could have quit. It would have been the easiest ting in the world to do. But there are enough problems to be faced in life without creating demons of your own. I could quit, and live with a failure, or I could act, and live with a success. I like success better.
I am a "White Belt" that didn't quit. |
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[ Reply ] |
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Congratulations. *bows respectfully* | by roger G. rapid | 2008-06-24 08:38:28 |
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Three hour test, Six months preparing for it | by wabbit65 | 2008-06-24 12:07:31 |
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BLAM BLAM BLAM! | by retiqlum2 | 2011-02-12 22:41:15 |
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Congratulations! | by retiqlum2 | 2011-02-12 22:44:07 |
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